From Doc Searle's weblog:

Speaking as one, are the spleenless among us safe from Anthrax? Nubbin: In translating Der Spiegel into English via Babelfish, I discovered that "anthrax" translates to "spleen fire."
Thanks to Kottke for introducing us to Nubbin, BTW. It's an A-1 blog by Ariana French.

This is Alex Cox's original REPO MAN COMIC - if you haven't seen this film, it's extremely weird - one of my favorites...

Okay, we've installed "BlogBack" so anyone can make a comment about any entries... Please give it a try.

We had a pumpkin contest at work on the 31st...

Can you tell this one is by the web designers?	This was GROSS - yes, a real cow's tongue...
Not too bad...	Whatta face...
Some of the others...	And here - the WINNER!

I've been playing with Radio UserLand software; see my new blog site...

from SlashDot (click here for article)

(about the Polaroid Bankruptcy)

(by "neema")

Never! (Score:5, Funny)
by neema on Sunday October 14, @12:03PM (#2427413)
(User #170845 Info | http://neema.redhive.com)
Digital cameras lack something real cameras have. Take the classic blackmail example:

Me: TAKE A LOOK AT THESE SENATOR!
*Neema throws down photos on desk*
Senator: *GASP*
Me: That's right. You. Dancing with the forbidden monkey. Dancing the forbidden dance with the forbidden monkey!
Senator: Please... if these get out, I'll never get reelected. And if I don't get reelected, I can't get the Senator's discount at Ben and Jerry's!
Me: And don't even think of ripping these up! I have copies at home! But, I think we can work something out...
*Senator pulls out check book*

But now, with these god damn digital cameras:

Me: TAKE A LOOK AT THESE SENATOR!
*Neema gently places digital camera on desk, so it doesn't break*
Senator: Yeah, my daughter has one of these.
Me: No, no, no. Argh. It turned off. It does that. Turns off automatically after 3 minutes... ok... gimme that...
*Neema turns on camera, places on desk again*
Me: OK, TAKE A LOOK AT THESE SENATOR!
Senator: It's a dog.
Me: Oh yeah, that's my dog Scruffy. Argh. Yeah, press the right arrow. Get past those pictures. Yep, that's Aunt Sally. Come on, a bit faster. ARGH, JUST GIVE IT TO ME!
*Grabs camera, scrolls to incriminating pictures*
Me: THERE YOU ARE! YOU, DANCING THE FORBIDDEN DANCE WITH THE FORBIDDEN MONKEY!
Senator: Please... if these get out, I'll never get reelected. And if I don't get reelected, I can't get the Senator's discount at Ben and Jerry's!
Me: Yeah, well, I'm going to stop by staples to get glossy photo paper and I'll be printing out a bunch of these!
*Senator pulls out check book*

I still like the first situation better.
[ Reply to This | Parent ]

Re:Never! by addaon (Score:2) Sunday October 14, @12:25PM
Re:Never! by torklugnutz (Score:1) Sunday October 14, @12:46PM
Re:Never! (Score:5, Insightful)
by Stanza (stanza23&hotmail,com) on Sunday October 14, @12:38PM (#2427572)
(User #35421 Info | http://stanza.techfocus.net/)
No no no. Your first part is correct, but the second part is all wrong:

Me: TAKE A LOOK AT THESE SENATOR!
*Neema gently places digital camera on desk, so it doesn't break*
Senator: Yeah, my daughter has one of these.

*Grabs camera, scrolls to incriminating pictures*
Me: THERE YOU ARE! YOU, DANCING THE FORBIDDEN DANCE WITH THE FORBIDDEN MONKEY!
Senator: That looks like something my daughter did with Photoshop.
Me: Yeah, well, I'm going to stop by staples to get glossy photo paper and I'll be printing out a bunch of these!
*Senator looks dubious*

From Robert Cringely's InfoWorld column:

"If you bought $1,000 worth of Nortel
stock one year ago, it would now be worth $72. If
you bought $1,000 worth of Budweiser (the beer,
not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer,
and traded in the cans for the nickel deposit,
you would have $79."

I like this one..

.

Check out the ZOO - Giraffes and giant Bugs are BEST

BEWARE of the MOO-BAT

A Radar Trap to be wary of...

Here's how to get rid of the X10 ads (the spy cam pages that appear behind the web pages you're viewing...

click - HERE -> http://www.x10.com/x10ads.htm

SURVEY: MAJORITY OF WEB USERS ARE
FBI AGENTS POSING AS TEENAGE GIRLS

http://www.satirewire.com/news/0008/satire-fbiteens.shtml

Survey Shows Evolving Web No Longer Dominated by Male Techies

NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) — The Internet reached a demographic milestone this week as a new study revealed that for the first time, the majority of U.S. Internet users are FBI agents posing as teenage girls.

The report, by research firm Media Metrix, marks the first time the demographic group known as "males" has not been in the majority.


According to the survey, which tracked online usage from January through July, 50.4 percent of U.S. Web users -- or nearly 38 million -- are FBI agents posing as teenage girls. That's still below the percentage of FBI agents posing as teenage girls in the overall population, which according to U.S. Census figures is 55.7 percent. However, the report noted that FBI agents posing as teenage girls represent the fastest growing segment of Web users, increasing 185 percent in the past 12 months.

"This study reveals that the Internet has come of age as a practical medium and is no longer dominated by the male techie crowd," said Randall Stinson, editor of American Demographics magazine. `These newcomers are saying, 'The Internet is about more than being a geek. It's about shopping and staying in touch with family and posing as a little girl to apprehend geeks.'"

Web sites catering to teenage girls corroborated the findings. "At least half" of Gurl.com's 1.3 million unique monthly visitors are FBI agents posing as teenage girls, said Gurl.com spokesperson Helen Kattrall. "It's easy to tell the difference," she said. "Real teens chat with each other about boys and school and celebrities. But FBI agents posing as teenage girls are never interested in girl-talk. They tend to write things like, 'Hi, I'm Emily. I'm almost 13, and I'm looking for a father figure willing to cross state lines.'"

In a statement, the FBI disputed the study's findings and insisted its agents are not working on that many cases. However, the bureau conceded it cannot rule out the possibility that some agents are posing as teenage girls in their free time.

In other survey findings:

¤ More than 60 percent of female respondents say cybersex is equivalent to infidelity, but a staggering 92 percent of FBI agents posing as teenage girls approve of cybersex as long as it leads to an arrest and conviction.

¤ Nearly one third of pedophiles say they actually go to teen sites in hopes of meeting FBI agents.

¤ Four out of five men say they watch women's gymnastics and figure skating for the athleticism. Nine out of ten women say they are lying.

RECOMMEND
THIS PAGE
Copyright © 2000-2001, SatireWire.

Clueless

from the pages of Computerworld's Shark Tank

User's nine-track tape drive is failing, but it tests out fine with tech support pilot fish's test tape. User's tape is another story - it's so worn, fish can almost see through the mylar. How about some new tapes, fish suggests. "I've been using these tapes every night for 10 years, and they've always worked," grumbles user. "Why should I have to buy new tapes now?"


IT shop receives shipment from remote office with a note: "We found this server in our trailer. It's been sitting there for a year or two. Is it usable or fixable?" Inside, pilot fish finds the "server" - a fully functional uninterruptible power supply.


Investment firm is approaching the go-live date for its new Web site, but the hosting company stalls whenever pilot fish asks to do load testing. Finally, four days before showtime, the hosting vendor says OK, with one restriction: Limit the number of testers. Fish finds out why: "If more than four people are logged in to the server," she reports, "it will crash!"


Clueless with cables I Help desk gets call from exec: His dial-up Internet connection worked fine on Friday, but it's not working now. Pilot fish finds the modem phone line dangling from the back of the laptop. "Oh, I couldn't get that line removed Friday to take my laptop home," exec explains. "So I cut it."


Clueless with cables Ii Upset user calls help desk, complaining he can't access anything on the network. Pilot fish quickly pinpoints the problem: Overly tidy user not wanting network cable cluttering up the floor has tacked it onto a corkboard behind his desk - with a push pin.

Unix Humor?

barely.

Happy Birthday to Tanya - 19 years old today!

I was a film student!!! Here's the result of four years in school...

Different Pink Boys:
I was Once in Guam
Das Veeblefetzer - WINNER of NOawards this year at Cannes!

Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with
all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner
and sees a building with the sign, "Saul Dumbrowski's Chinese Laundry."
"Saul Dumbrowski?" he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?"
So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the
counter.

The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like "Saul Dumbrowski's
Chinese Laundry?"

The old man answers, "Is name of owner."

The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?"

"Me, is right here," replies the old man.

"You? How did you ever get a name like Saul Dumbrowski?"

"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this
country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front is
Jewish gentleman from Poland. Lady look at him and go, 'What your
name?' He say, 'Saul Dumbrowski.' Then she look at me and go, 'What
your name?'

I say, 'Sem Ting."

British Author Douglas Adams Dies

By DANNY POLLOCK, Associated Press Writer

LOS ANGELES (AP) - Douglas Adams, whose cult science fiction comedy ``The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'' drew millions of fans and spawned a mini-industry, has died at age 49.

The British-born Adams died Friday of an apparent heart attack in Santa Barbara, Calif., a family friend, Elizabeth Gibson, said Saturday. She said Adams collapsed while working out at a gym.

``He was not ill,'' Gibson said. ``This was completely unexpected.''

The ``Hitchhiker's Guide,'' which began as a British Broadcasting Corp. radio series in 1978, is a satirical adventure about a group of interplanetary travelers; it opens with the Earth being destroyed to make way for an intergalactic highway.

It was turned into a book, which sold 14 million copies around the world, and later into a television series.

The book was followed by several sequels, including ``The Restaurant at the End of the Universe,'' ``Life, the Universe and Everything'' and ``So Long, and Thanks For All the Fish.''

The books blended satire, memorably named characters such as Zaphod Beeblebrox and Marvin the Paranoid Android, and witty philosophy, at one point supplying the answer to ``the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything.'' The answer was 42.

Adams later recalled how he first thought of the book during a teen-age trip around Europe.

``I was hitchhiking around Europe in 1971, when I was 18, with this copy of 'A Hitchhiker's Guide to Europe,''' he said.

``At one point I found myself lying in the middle of a field, a little bit drunk, when it occurred to me that somebody should write a Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It didn't occur to me that it might actually be me years later.''

Geoffrey Perkins, the BBC's head of comedy, called Adams ``absolutely one of the most creative geniuses to ever work in radio comedy.''

``He probably wrote one of the greatest radio comedy series ever, certainly the most imaginative,'' he added.

Born in Cambridge, England, in 1952 and educated at Cambridge University, Adams began his career as a writer and script editor at the BBC.

He followed the ``Hitchhiker's Guide'' with several books about ``holistic detective'' Dirk Gently; ``Last Chance to See,'' a book about endangered species; and, with John Lloyd, the hilarious alternative dictionary ``The Meaning of Liff.''

He also founded a multimedia company, Digital Village, which produced the ``Starship Titanic'' computer game and an online travel guide inspired by the ``Hitchhiker's Guide.''

A frequent radio broadcaster on science and technology, Adams had been working for several years on a screenplay for an oft-delayed ``Hitchhiker's Guide'' movie.

In August 1996, he told a technology conference in New Orleans that the main problem in adapting the series for film was not special effects.

``It's the nature of the story, which is picaresque, which translates to one damn thing after another, and another, and another.

``It's very hard to translate that to a 100-minute feature film,'' he said. ``Every script has a beginning and a middle and an end.''

Adams married Jane Belson, a lawyer, in 1991. The couple, who had lived in Santa Barbara since 1999, had a 6-year-old daughter, Polly. Adams is also survived by his mother, Jan Thrift of England.

-

Associated Press Writer Jill Lawless, in London, contributed to this report.

Courtesy of Farmboy11 on f---edcompany.com

Prostitute Or A Consultant?

From http://www.contractoruk.co.uk/humour8.html


1. You work very odd hours.

2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.

3. You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money.

4. You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room.

5. You charge by the hour but your time can be extended for the right price.

6. You are not proud of what you do.

7. Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.

8. It's difficult to have a family.

9. You have no job satisfaction.

10. If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client.

11. You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.

12. People ask you, "What do you do?" and you can't explain it.

13. Your family hardly recognizes you at reunions (at least the reunions you attend.)

14. Your friends have distanced themselves from you and you're left hanging with only other "professionals."

15. Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.

16. Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.

17. Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or BMWs.

18. Your pimp encourages drinking and you become addicted to drugs to ease the pain of it all.

19. You know the pimp is charging more than you are worth but if the client is foolish enough to pay it's not your problem.

20. When you leave to go see a client, you look great,but return looking like hell (compare your appearance on Monday AM to Friday PM).

21. You are rated on your "performance" in an excruciating ordeal.

22. Even though you get paid the big bucks, it's the client who walks
away smiling.

23. The client always thinks your "cut" of your billing rate is higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from you.

24. When you deduct your "take" from your billing rate, you constantly wonder if you could get a better deal with another pimp.

25. Everyday you wake up and tell yourself, "I'm not going to be doing this stuff the rest of my life."