Clueless

from the pages of Computerworld's Shark Tank

User's nine-track tape drive is failing, but it tests out fine with tech support pilot fish's test tape. User's tape is another story - it's so worn, fish can almost see through the mylar. How about some new tapes, fish suggests. "I've been using these tapes every night for 10 years, and they've always worked," grumbles user. "Why should I have to buy new tapes now?"


IT shop receives shipment from remote office with a note: "We found this server in our trailer. It's been sitting there for a year or two. Is it usable or fixable?" Inside, pilot fish finds the "server" - a fully functional uninterruptible power supply.


Investment firm is approaching the go-live date for its new Web site, but the hosting company stalls whenever pilot fish asks to do load testing. Finally, four days before showtime, the hosting vendor says OK, with one restriction: Limit the number of testers. Fish finds out why: "If more than four people are logged in to the server," she reports, "it will crash!"


Clueless with cables I Help desk gets call from exec: His dial-up Internet connection worked fine on Friday, but it's not working now. Pilot fish finds the modem phone line dangling from the back of the laptop. "Oh, I couldn't get that line removed Friday to take my laptop home," exec explains. "So I cut it."


Clueless with cables Ii Upset user calls help desk, complaining he can't access anything on the network. Pilot fish quickly pinpoints the problem: Overly tidy user not wanting network cable cluttering up the floor has tacked it onto a corkboard behind his desk - with a push pin.