Apple - Support - Discussions - Animals IN my screen. HELP!! ...

And see the Video...

INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

*1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16
work boots. *

*2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans,
a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines. *

*3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine. *

*4. Leave a note on your door that reads: *

*Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for
ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they
attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't
think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. *

*P.S. - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside!*

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wow...
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YouTube - Manchester bollards

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a
truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there
is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so
we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the man.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is
have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where
to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down,
down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a
green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of
it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake
his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at
the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and
champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good
time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that
before
he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St.
Peter
is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit heaven."So, 24 hours pass with the senator
joining a
group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and
singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours
have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose
your eternity."

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never
have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I
would
be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to
hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land
covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting
it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I don't
understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a
golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne,
and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of
garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were
campaigning...... Today you voted."